I am cat. I do what I want.
(not the Chucklefuck or friends in question)
It may be the greatest story to come out of 2022.
At least it is, so far.
23 days into this year and nearly two years into the Covid-19 induced, global lockdown, the ridiculous story of three cats and the Vitamix box they love and won’t leave the F alone, is the endurance story we didn’t know we needed.
If you haven’t seen the Global News or Washington Post articles or all the other social media coverage this story has generated, let me sum up the details like this:
A Vitamix blender was ordered online and delivered to Jessica and Nikii Gerson-Neeves at their home on Vancouver Island in mid-December.
Their three cats took an immediate and unending (read obsessive) interest in the box that has had them sitting atop it guarding it like a prized dead bird.
When I say, “unending interest” I mean the floofs now live on top of the box 24/7. They have shifts. This is now their life’s purpose - guarding the Vitamix box so that it can never be opened and their human servants can kiss their smoothie dreams goodbye.
It’s been over a month since the floof occupation of this disputed territory in the couple’s kitchen. The three cats - Max, otherwise known as the “sentient soccer ball,” George: Destroyer of Worlds (“sentient potato”) and Lando Calrissian (“the questionably sentient dust bunny,”), are giving their “Middle-aged Lesbian” Moms (“MALs” for short) some truly hilarious content for their dedicated Facebook page and Jess’s Twitter account.
But it’s Jessica’s writing talents documenting the ordeal that has truly taken this random story into the consciousness of millions who are eagerly following the saga as it continues.
Even Vitamix has noticed and tried to help resolve the hostage situation by sending new decoy boxes to the home.
Temperamental Chucklefuck and Friends (the collective of cats Max, George, and Lando) were not fooled and decoy box carcasses soon found themselves as cardboard material martyrs in the story of our heroes and their cat overlords.
What’s mine is mine. What’s yours is mine. No, I will not take questions.
This story is about more than three cats who won’t get the hell off their moms’ new blender. For content creators it is a lesson about noticing everyday opportunities for connection with an audience and bringing those moments to life in relatable ways.
Their audience of pet parents cannot get enough of the antics of the Chucklefuck and Friends posse because the things that Jess and Nikii describe could be tales from their own homes.
Animals are universally weird. Really really weird.
Their shenanigans are endlessly delightful to those who love them, of course, but often make for awkward conversations with non-pet owning friends who aren’t charmed by their idiocy the way that you are.
The reason why this story has continued to find an audience is because Jess’ writing (and accompanying photographs) have brought this group of miscreants to life for us. People are invested in them. They feel like they know them.
Content creation is at its best when it is personal and relatable.
For folks like me, a fellow cat mom of three little floof monsters - Maple, Waffle, and Rolo - devouring the content that these MALs are putting out has been a much-needed highlight in a challenging time.
Jess’ writing skills have inspired me to level up my game, while offering the greatest of content benefits for us all during this (seemingly) never-ending Coronavirus garbage heap - distraction from our fears.
I can honestly say that I hope this Vitamix hostage situation never ends. And I know I’m not alone.
All good (and bad) hostage situations must eventually come to an end, but before this one does, I, for one, will devour every bit of social media content about the crazy (but true) story of the three cats who held a Vitamix hostage and apply the lessons they have taught me.
Here’s what I’ve learned: Personal content is amazing.
Relatable personal content is even better.
Relatable personal content written with style and substance - that’s the chefs kiss.
And finally, Everyone loves an idiotic animal story.